The Dinosaur Incident
by Redrose001
Summary: Anderson has an embarrassing moment involving dinosaurs and getting in a fight with a child over them. This is the part of the 'Rubber Duck Incident' series.


To Anderson one of the most important things in the world to him was dinosaurs. His love of dinosaurs started when he was a young boy, when he first saw The Land Before Time on television, and after that he was obsessed with them. He would spend hours poring over books, learning all the names of them and any other bits of information about them. He didn't want to admit it, but he had a dinosaur onesie. He would wear this item of clothing on the days he would have a Jurassic Park movie marathon with the cat. So really it was clear that Anderson didn't have much a life outside work, and he was one vodka shot away from being a spinster.

One of the main problems Anderson had in his life apart from Sherlock insulting him at every given moment on his intelligence. His main issue was when people told him that dinosaurs weren't cool and there wasn't any point in learning about dinosaurs as they were just big lizards and they were extinct. Or the worse people were the ones who said that dinosaurs weren't real and they were just a work of fiction like vampires and crop circles.

In moments like this, Anderson would drop all of the professional dignity he had, and he would be willing to fight to the metaphorical death over it. The moment that someone insulted dinosaurs, Anderson would grab his dinosaur book that he carried in his bag all the time-for moments like this, and he would prove them wrong and try to convert them into what he called 'Dinolovers.' Basically he was the Jehovah's Witness of the dinosaur world.

Normally when he got in an argument with someone over dinosaurs, he would usually win them. But the person on the other side of the argument would usually be bored to death and Anderson has a bit of a droning and it was rather painful to listen to after ten minutes. After ten minutes the average person would seriously consider ripping off their ears off and eat them –without tomato sauce. So after suffering for ten minutes, the person would usually say that they had converted to 'Dinoism' in hopes that Anderson would shut up and they would be saved from his rants and the ever growing threat of losing their ears.

But this time when he got in an argument over dinosaurs, he lost. It wasn't something that happened everyday as it never happened before. After that particular argument, Anderson didn't convert anyone into becoming a 'Dinolover'. Anderson claimed that the person he was arguing with had to do go away. But that was a lie, and Anderson couldn't lie to save his life.

The truth about Anderson's loosing argument about dinosaurs was that the person did up going away. But this wasn't any random person, it was a twelve year old boy. Who came out of the fight unharmed, when the argument turned physical, and he gave Anderson two black eyes in the fight.

Anderson never told people the truth, as frankly it was rather embarrassing. Imagine that you are someone who works in the police and is a full grown man who ends up getting beaten up by a twelve year old boy , in a fight over dinosaurs. It is not something to be proud of. Also after the fight Anderson found himself taped to the wall and wearing Sherlock's pink skinny jeans. Anderson didn't know about who did that to him, but he had a feeling that it was Sherlock and possibly Lestrade who did that.

It wasn't Anderson's proudest moment and he did like to pretend it didn't happen, however members of the Yard liked to bring it up during nights out and the Christmas party, and really just when Anderson was annoying them. Unknown to Anderson, there are videos of the fight posted online and photos of him being stuck to the wall wearing the skinny jeans. Even a website was created by Sherlock dedicated to Anderson at that moment of time.

The day started off like another day at the Yard, by means of lots of paper work and Sherlock poking Lestrade's face with a wooden spoon in the name of science and the fact that it was a proven way to get cases from Lestrade. After Lestrade was fed up with getting poked in the face by a spoon, he ended up leaving for a while and then he came back with his nephew. When Lestrade came back, he had ordered Anderson to 'babysit' his nephew as needed to go and beat Sherlock with the wooden spoon.

Anderson wasn't a person who had amazing social skills and with children he was even more awkward. The moment that he walked into the empty office with his papers and he saw Lestrade's nephew playing a game involving dinosaurs, he felt rather relived as it meant that his time looking after the boy would be slightly less awkward.

As Anderson put down his papers and sat down, the boy looked up from his computer game and up at Anderson. "All right?" The boy greeted with a grunt and then turned back to his game.

"I'm good." Anderson replied awkwardly before pretending to work. He was mentally cursing Lestrade for putting him in an another uncomfortable situation. Not knowing what to say Anderson opened up Lestrade's desk drawer and started to rummage through all its contents. After digging through all of the bits of random rubbish that included a large amount of confiscated items that were obviously from Sherlock, as no normal person would take a jar of eye balls on their trip to Scotland Yard, unless they were the Yard's favorite sociopath. Once Anderson had managed to go through all the wooden spoons and horse spleens, he came across to Lestrade's secret doughnut stash. The reason that our favorite DI had a secret doughnut stash was that the other officers at the Yard were starting to make fun of Lestrade. Since Lestrade was getting older, he was getting slower and not being as energetic as he used to be, and because of this the officers were blaming Lestrade's lack of energy as to him getting fatter from all of the doughnuts that he had. And because of all the insults of 'fatty Lestraddy' and 'Doughnut Inspector' Lestrade had stashed his doughnuts in his drawer so he could eat his favorite treat without the insults and shame.

Deciding that he would help Lestrade in means of stopping the insults, by getting rid of the item that caused his grief and he could be saving the DI from high cholesterol as well- really Lestrade should be thanking him. The boy looked up at his game and set his gaze at the box of sugary treats. Deciding that he would treat the boy the same way that you would treat a stray dog –let him come to you. Anderson opened up the box and slowly slid it across the table and waited for the boy to pounce. The boy looked at Anderson suspiciously as he had poisoned them.

"I haven't done anything to them." Anderson said as he reached over and took a doughnut and took a bite of it as to show that it wasn't poisoned. "Your uncle would murder me if I had done something to them. And I am not like the freak, I don't keep poison in my pockets."

The boy snorted as he took a doughnut from the box. "You mean the bloke in the black coat who keeps begging for a case?" The boy asked.

"You have got the right man. Is he actually begging for cases?" Anderson asked. The boy nodded while he took a bite out of his Doughnut. "That is just sad." Anderson snorted. "He is probably cursing all of the murders of London for not killing anyone. You know that it would be a matter of time before he kills someone, just so he can get a case to solve."

"You really don't like this bloke don't you?" The boy asked.

Anderson loudly snorted, "Why would I like him? On the first case that he turned up to he pushed me into the Thames, just because 'I was in the way.' The thing was that I was in the van, that was in on the other side of Thames." Anderson smirked as the boy laughed, did he just make a friend? He wondered. "I'm Anderson by the way."

"Gavin." The boy stated as he turned back to his computer game.

Not wanting to lose his friend to his computer game, Anderson decided to ask more questions to try to keep his new friend wanting to talk to him. After a few questions that only ended in several grunts of yes or not. Deciding that he didn't want to lose his friend to stupid yes or no questions, Anderson thought he would play the D-Card, (And that wasn't referring to his penis, that was the question about dinosaurs.)

"So Gavin, what do you think about dinosaurs?" Anderson asked.

Gavin looked up from his computer game and up at Anderson. "They are okay." He shrugged. "Dragons are cooler."

Anderson glared at the boy who wasn't his friend anymore. "Why would dragons be cooler?" He hissed. "They are not real. Dinosaurs actually roamed the earth."

"Can dinosaurs breathe fire?" Gavin challenged. "Dragons can also do that and they can fly."

Anderson reached into his bag and pulled out his dinosaur book and slammed on the table. "There are dinosaurs that can fly." Anderson quickly turned the pages of the book until he got to the desired pages. "Look Pterodactyl." Anderson said as he pointed to the picture of the dinosaur.

"That is just sad." Gavin laughed loudly, "What do you in your free time, go and watch Jurassic Park? You know that the film is not real? They were no real dinosaurs in that film."

"Of course I know about the film not being real, I am not a child!" Anderson spat out. "When we are on the topic of things that are not real, lets see, Santa is not real, neither is the Tooth fairy is not real and neither is the bloody Easter Bunny. You know who puts the presents under the tree, it is your parents. There is no man in red who comes down the chimney with his reindeer –which don't fly by the way, as last time I checked, they don't have a rocket engine shoved up their arse. So don't tell me what is real and not real!"

After Anderson's last comment, their fight ended up turning physical. There wasn't much to say about the fight apart from that Anderson was no ninja and you could tell by his physical state that he should got to the gym more often, instead of watching and reading things about dinosaurs. They say that the pen is mightier than the sword, but in this case, the twelve-year-old is mightier than Anderson.

As Sargent Donovan walked past Lestrade's office on her way to the photocopiers, she heard the noise of what sounded like Anderson crying. Looking into the office, she realized that she was correct. There was something rather fascinating about seeing a fight, even though that it was frowned upon but there was temptation about wanting to see who was winning. After sending a few texts to some officers about the fights, Sally managed to drag herself away from the fight and into the conference room where Lestrade was eating a doughnut with his feet up on the table, while Sherlock was complaining about the lack of cases .

"Sir, there is a fight going on!" Sally shouted as burst into the room.

"Not our division." Lestrade said through a mouthful of doughnut.

The moment that Sally spoke, Sherlock stood up and looked enthusiastic. "Is anyone dead? Lestrade this could be the case that I need!" Sherlock clapped his hands like an excited toddler. "Who is in the fight?" he asked.

"Sir, you might want to see this." Sally said as she tapped a few buttons on her phone and brought up a picture of the fight. "Its Anderson and your nephew."

Sherlock ended up squealing slightly before taking off to Lestrade's office. Sally expected Lestrade to do the same as Sherlock, but to her surprise he just stayed and looked at the clock. " Sir,are you not going to see the fight?" she asked.

"I will be seeing it in a minute," Lestrade stated as he kept his eye on the clock. "as in exactly one minute, I am off duty and then Dimmock has to deal with this."

After counting down the last thirty seconds of his shift, Lestrade ran down to his office and found that it was completely trashed and the only people left in the room were Anderson –who was on the floor, Gavin- who was now playing his computer game, and Sherlock -who was collecting Anderson's blood for an experiment.

Lestrade sighed loudly. "I always miss the fights." He moaned as he shot a glare at Donovan. "You could have told me this sooner."

Right before Sally was about to open her mouth to apologize, Sherlock shoved his phone in Lestrade's face. "I got the good bit of the fight filmed for you, Graham."

"My name is not Graham." Lestrade said through gritted teeth. "It is Greg."

Sherlock shrugged. "It is not going to be any use to me. There are more important things on this earth, than just you."

Sally muttered something under her breath as she left the room and wondered how Lestrade got his job, as he was just as bad as Sherlock sometimes.

Gavin looked up from his computer game. "Hi, Uncle Greg." He greeted as he looked back at the game.

"You have been rather busy today," Lestrade said as he folded his arms. "Care to explain?"

"You have done a good job on Anderson!" Sherlock loudly stated, "Two black eyes that is impressive, and you are saying that you came out unharmed?"

Gavin smiled and was about to open his mouth to thank Sherlock, when Lestrade shot him a glare. "I am really disappointed in you Gavin, you could get yourself put in prison."

"But he was being a complete and utter twat, he told me that Santa wasn't real and before that he yelled at me about dinosaurs." Gavin complained.

"I think that the one who should be getting punished is Anderson." Sherlock stated. Before Lestrade could open his mouth to tell Sherlock to be quiet, when an empty doughnut box was thrust in his face. Lestrade felt the anger build up inside of him, no one touched his emergency doughnuts and lived to tell the tale.

"Gavin, I want you to apologize to Anderson and you are going to help him in what he needs help with. Sherlock go and get the tape and we are on Code Pink."

Sherlock grinned and went into the bottom of the filing cabinet and pulled out the emergency pink skinny jeans and handed them to Lestrade. Once Gavin was out of the room, the two men set themselves on the task of tapping Anderson to the wall and making him wear the jeans as punishment for eating Lestrade's doughnuts.

Later that week, posters were put on every single wall of the Yard of Anderson taped to the wall. The poster was simple and it only said, 'If you touch Lestrade's doughnuts, this will happen to you. Be warned.' To Lestrade's surprise the posters had worked and no one even made any comments about his doughnut addiction.

After that day Anderson never did try to convert anyone to 'Dinosim' again, mostly due to embarrassment that he faced from the fight with the twelve-year-old boy. In case he did get into another fight with another boy over something pointless, Anderson did start going to the gym more, however he was still as weak as a disabled snail. Even thought that there was videos and pictures of him at the fight and the aftermath of it, it wasn't all bad as he had some embarrassing stories about Lestrade and Sherlock such as when Lestrade got himself glued to a chair for a very long time and Sherlock's incident with the angry cat or when he was forced to wear a dress for a case.

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Thank you for reading and if you have any ideas for embarrassing moments I would love to read them and I will use them no matter how strange they are.


End file.
